As a man - totally agree that being needed / validated is one of our core needs.
I’ve been married nearly 25 years. I married my high-school sweetheart... so although that is a net positive, a lot of our maturity and self discovery happened within our marriage... so that definitely provided its shares of ups and downs over the years.
I can definitely say that some of the lowest / darkest points within that journey for me (as the male in the relationship) was when I felt that I was not needed by my wife.
Put in more practical terms (as she would never actually say that to me)... where I felt that I was a burden to her... or worse yet - when I would recognize that some of my own insecurities / false worldviews adversely impacted her (always unintentionally- but damaging nonetheless).
As I went down my own journey of discovering who I am - it became more clear to me that many of my past “issues” with my wife were actually more of a projection of some deep seeded insecurities of my own from childhood. She had little, if anything to do with them, but because I had not dealt with them inside of my own heart - it would manifest into something negative within the relationship. Once I dealt with those issues inside of my heart...my love for my wife only grew...it was like I had let an insecurity in my past overshadow and not appreciate the incredible and talented person that she is.
Great content thus far Mills. You are definitely resonating with me. I have two girls that I homeschool and much of what you write aligns with how my wife and I try to frame out for them.
That men need to feel needed was a big lesson I learned in my early twenties! Whether men need to "be needed" more than women, I'm not sure, but everyone needs respect and appreciation, and I do feel that modern culture puts too much emphasis on respect and appreciation for women, but not for men.
As a man - totally agree that being needed / validated is one of our core needs.
I’ve been married nearly 25 years. I married my high-school sweetheart... so although that is a net positive, a lot of our maturity and self discovery happened within our marriage... so that definitely provided its shares of ups and downs over the years.
I can definitely say that some of the lowest / darkest points within that journey for me (as the male in the relationship) was when I felt that I was not needed by my wife.
Put in more practical terms (as she would never actually say that to me)... where I felt that I was a burden to her... or worse yet - when I would recognize that some of my own insecurities / false worldviews adversely impacted her (always unintentionally- but damaging nonetheless).
As I went down my own journey of discovering who I am - it became more clear to me that many of my past “issues” with my wife were actually more of a projection of some deep seeded insecurities of my own from childhood. She had little, if anything to do with them, but because I had not dealt with them inside of my own heart - it would manifest into something negative within the relationship. Once I dealt with those issues inside of my heart...my love for my wife only grew...it was like I had let an insecurity in my past overshadow and not appreciate the incredible and talented person that she is.
Great content thus far Mills. You are definitely resonating with me. I have two girls that I homeschool and much of what you write aligns with how my wife and I try to frame out for them.
That men need to feel needed was a big lesson I learned in my early twenties! Whether men need to "be needed" more than women, I'm not sure, but everyone needs respect and appreciation, and I do feel that modern culture puts too much emphasis on respect and appreciation for women, but not for men.